The Courage to Be You

Holiday Thinking

The most wonderful time of the year and the most stressful. Filled with tradition and memories and... all those EXPECTATIONS. It's brutal what we do to ourselves when you think about it. Expectations around meals, gifts, decorations, doing it just like your family did, behavior, dress and the dozens of other "should be's."

What if we drastically reduced our expectations and just went with the flow of the day. Where we do the best we can considering the circumstances, we always do, and just let life be as it will be. We have a much better chance to enjoy the moments, events, friends and family if we do. Feel how the stress is reduced just thinking about it.

We won't be very good at it at first, but some lowered expectations are better than nothing. Everyone else around us will have a better time and be more relaxed because of the peace they see in us. Isn't peace a huge part of the season?

So let's give lower expectations a healthy shot, bringing more calmness to whatever the occasion, which enhances joy, and brings goodwill to men - women too of course.

Merry Christmas to you all.  Brad

Being Judged

It happens to all of us. The dis-empowering, exhausting judgment by others about everything in our lives. Isn't it an awful feeling knowing you are being judged? Even if the results are good, it's still consumes so much of our energy.

Why do we let judgment be meaningful? We all want to be "somebody." We want to measure up and feel good about ourselves. We want to know we count to the judging person. We want to be enough. Sometimes being judged is just part of the job, contest, or event. We can learn to live with that.

Unsolicited and unwanted judgment is what I'm talking about. The cruelest of all. And,,, you do it too. We all do. Remember these helpful judgment shielding tools:

1. It's more about the person doing the judging than it is about you. It's their opinion sandwiched in all their problems, past, and "rules of life."
2. Who gave them the right or authority to judge us? It's not their job.
3. It is a sin for a good reason. It destroys.
4. The less we judge, the less we feel the pain of judgment.