The Courage to Be You

A New "Be"ginning

Here we are once again at that point in time - a new beginning. So, what was your resolution or plan for the coming year? Most of ours is based on "doing" something in our life; losing weight, stop smoking, making more money.

How about a "being" resolution for this year? A resolution that goes to the heart of who we are, or better yet, who we wish to "be"come. Isn't this where the answers are to our challenges and problems? Aren't we suffering in part because we want to be different in our lives? We try to blame others for our problems, but in reality, they are all our own. Most everything we are looking for is found by going inside rather than looking outside ourselves.

Think about who you would be if you didn't have the problems you have. How would you be different? Now, write down how you would be different and make those points your New Year Resolution that will really transform you. Make it a year where "being" is your focus, because being different will allow you to accomplish all those "doing" resolutions.

Here is a partial list of how I would be different without my problems - to help you see what I'm talking about:

·       Be living in the present moment

·       Be living in the opportunity of the situation

·       My total focus would be on others and not me

·       I would be love. Love would pour out of me.

It really does take enormous courage to be more of our authentic selves every day. That is why we need at a minimum community, inspiration, encouragement, and love to make it happen. Really start living this year and truly make it the outpouring of your authentic-self.

If you wish me to help you with the process, email me at brad@couragetobeyou.net and I will be happy to do what I can.

Be Courageous and Happy New Year

Keep The Power

We give our power away without knowing it. This automatically puts us at the mercy of others, and they begin "controlling" our lives. We might even become victims to other's thoughts, actions, or lack thereof.

An example of this is seeking or "needing approval" of others. This is a moving target at best. First of all, it's only the other person's opinion. And it is steeped in their history, current problems, prejudices, and even how they're feeling at that time.  We give our power away to them by needing or silently begging for their approval. Our whole attitude and personality may hinge on whether they abide by our wishes. This is particularly critical when it is a long term relationship like spousal or parent.

Understanding that their approval is only opinion and should not effect our self worth, make or break our day, or have anything to do with self esteem, allows us to hold onto our power and not ride the roller coaster of what others think, say, or how they react to us.

So along with keeping the faith, keep the power too.

Powerful Presentation Tips

Are you involved with presentations of any kind? If so, check out  author, world renown speaker, and business guru Tom Peters blog entitled, Presentation Excellence. He has blessed us with 56 jewels he believes mold an excellent presentation.

It is a few articles down the page. Don't get it confused with the comments article more recently posted. It is found in PowerPoint slides accessed by clicking the words "Presentation Excellence" in the article. Check it out. Great wisdom.

Healthy Mind Month

May is National Mental Health Month. (Note - it's not National Mental Illness Month.) "Mental Health" is negatively biased in our society and is rarely discussed. Hear this! Mental HEALTH is for you and me. It's as vital as physical health - maybe more so.

We assume if we don't have a mental illness, therefore, we must be mentally healthy. Compare that to the thinking if we have no physical ailments, then we must physically fit.  We can't simply achieve one by not having the opposite.

If we want to enjoy our lives to the fullest, we must work to be mentally healthy. I frame it becoming a "healthy thinker." It's no different than working out daily. We must make the effort and have the know how. This is the driving force behind this blog site. To help you and me become "healthy thinkers" and change lives in doing so.

I'm out to make a huge difference in this world, and I want you included.

INSPIRE

Can you imagine working for a company that is so well managed the employees make a video for the CEO to show their appreciation and.... to tell them how much they love him? Not just an average homemade video either. A real employee production with original music - even won a national award. It's true. Just ask Mount Carmel Health System, Columbus, OH.

Principals from the book, INSPIRE! What Great Leaders Do, by Lance Secretan drove the training behind this incredible event. One aspect of Mr. Secretan's teaching is Servant/Leader. The boss is there to serve the employees, so they can perform at their highest level. (I think we've heard that before. His name was Christ).

I spent 3 days at a coaching conference with Mr. Secretan, and he is as awesome in person as his book is "inspiring." Leadership or just personal growth, it's worth the reading time.

Simple, Not Easy

Many of our personal development goals and desires are really quite simple. We don't want them to be simple. We are so used to complicated and overwhelming that simple is kind of an insult, really. And if they are simple, why haven't we already achieved them?

Simple means just do these few things, give up that habit, or change our thinking and we've got it. But simple doesn't mean easy. And difficult doesn't have to be complicated. Think about quitting smoking. It's relatively simple, but extremely difficult.

Most of us give up too soon because our desired change is so difficult. Or, we stop short thinking we've accomplished the change without fully breaking the old habit. We need to keep it simple, but turn up the toughness a couple notches.

Kick Me, Beat Me

Isn't that what life feels like sometimes? Just get up to be knocked down again.

What would a healthy thinker say in this case? How about, "thank you, I'm grateful." Out strength is developed out of our brokenness and helplessness. Our greatest gifts to each other are not from our successes, but from our pains, our traumas, our personal hell. That's where we build world class character and mind power.

Example: just talked with a old college buddy who's father is dying. It's sad, painful, and gut wrenching. That can't and shouldn't be denied. But I have a gift for him if he wishes. I've been through this with my father, and I can support my friend in a humble, compassionate, loving way. Something I couldn't do if I hadn't experienced the pain myself.

My pain then becomes my gift. To be an All-American Healthy Thinker, next time life knocks us down let's grit our teeth and say, "thank you."

Could You Fill a Gymnasium?

Begin with the end in mind. That's what Stephen Covey advises in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. If something happened to you today, would they hold your funeral at a gym to accommodate the people? Not me.

What's really important to us? No, not the promotion, publicity, new car, or winning at golf. I mean really important. How are we going to be remembered and by whom?

A local teacher died from injuries in an auto accident. He was stopping to help someone with car trouble - helping others was his life. They are going to fill a gym for his funeral...because... he sincerely loved people so much. His students, fellow teachers, parents, kids he coached, neighbors. 1000's of stories being told.

He's filling a gym..and... he's only 31. I'm honored to have known him. My kids blessed to have experienced all that he was. I like Covey's idea more than ever. It's what really matters.

Everyday Courage

"It takes Courage on a daily basis to find something ultimately positive and meaningful about life and ourselves," Hal Urban in Life's Greatest Lessons. Then he adds a quote by Paul Tillich, "Loving life is the highest form of the courage to be," from The Courage to Be.

What raw truth. I never considered loving life to be courageous, have you? Helps me understand my daily struggle to embrace life and be fully alive is as difficult as it seems. I always think it's easier for everyone else.

Knowing that I need to be tough and have courage daily in learning to live life, not just in the really hard times, that inspires me. Life is hard and we need courage - in spite of what advertisements tell us.